Voicemails
by SimplyReBECca
Summary: J/L (as always). Longer summary is inside.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's note - This is a random idea. Not sure if it'll work yet. Follows what's going on in EE at the moment, after yesterday's pub situation and where Lauren leaves for rehab, Joey doesn't know straight away. He leaves her voicemails, her believing he's with Lucy doesn't answer, he leaves her more, something he says makes her want to reply so she waits until she knows he's unavailable and leaves him a voicemail. **_

_**And then so it starts. Them staying in touch, via voicemails for the duration of her time away. **_

_**Bold - him leaving her voicemails. Italic - her leaving him voicemails. Normal - normal? Life whether it be with her in treatment or him in Walford.**_

_**Let me know your thoughts? xx**_

* * *

**"Lauren, it's me. Just checking you'll alright after earlier. Text me yeah."**

* * *

**"Hey. It's me again. Just want to see how you are. If you don't call back, maybe Max and Tan have got your phone or summat, I'll send Al over. They'll let her see ya. Just call me yeah?"**

* * *

**"What's going on ay? Luce said you were looking for me, then when you find me you don't want anything to do with me. Look Lauren, I'm worried alright? Just call me."**

* * *

**"Lauren. I've just heard you've gone, like left. Didn't want to say goodbye I guess, doubt Tan would have let you even if you'd wanted too. Call me back and let me know you're alright yeah?"**

* * *

**"Stupid bitch. Not you, God Lauren. Lucy. Me and her... We ain't together, won't ever be together. I don't get why she'd tell you otherwise, but it ain't true. I swear. Just call me so we can talk yeah?"**

* * *

**"Babe. Why aren't you taking my calls ay? I just want to know you're alright. Just call me when you get this yeah?"**

* * *

Lauren ended her voicemail again when a sigh, before placing it down in front of her. A picture of her, Joey and Oscar filled the background.

"Another one?" came the calm soft voice from behind her, her reply a simple nod.

"Well he's definitely persistent, I'll give him that one." Leaning over the sofa Lauren was sat on, she grabbed Lauren's phone from the side.

"This him?" Another nod.

"Cute too." A smile this time.

Holding the phone out to her, she spoke "Can you do something for me?" A shrug.

No-one ever said getting through to Lauren Branning was easy.

"Turn this off." Eyes widened. "Just for 48 hours Lauren." She still looked unconvinced.

Taking away her only tie to her home life wasn't something Lauren was wanting to give up.

Even if every phone call or text whether from her Dad; wishing her well but wanting her home, her Mum; sending love and reminding her this was for the best, her sister; sending typical Abi things or him; acting like he cares, she's not sure why – broke her just a bit more.

She messed up her own life, and in just a day outside of the Walford bubble she realised how many people she'd hurt along the way. Unintentionally obviously.

"48 hours Lauren." She spoke again.

"Clear your head, think about what you gain and lose from having individuals in your life." A comforting hand rested on her shoulder.

"Then you can start making decisions, starting again." Lauren was tense but nodded.

"48 hours, that's it." Lauren mumbled her response.

"That's it. Just one of the first of many steps to get you back to where you want to be Lauren."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note - once again I suck at updating, my bad. Sorry! Surgery went well though, thanks for all the lovely tweets & PM's! - And Joey's calls to L - bold. L's to J - italic. Normal is just standard dialogue and writing. blah blah blah. haha

* * *

Half a dozen unread texts. Opening the ones from her sister, she smiled. She deleted the others from her 'friends' without even reading them.

Two new voicemails. Seeing as she was allowed two phone calls each day; one for her Mum and one for her Dad & Abs, she knew they were from one person.

**"I dunno if you are even listening to this, but just, Abi told me about Kirsty. What a mess ay? I can see you scoffing over the fact it surprised me and can almost hear you saying it's typical Branning's ay? But she said you were good. And, I'm... Just glad you are doing good yeah."**

**"Oh and it's Joey by the way. Al said you might not even have my number anymore. So yeah. It's me. Call me back if you want. Or not. I don't know. Just yeah. Bye."**

She played it again.

**"I dunno if you are even listening to this, but just, Abi told me about Kirsty. What a mess ay? I can see you scoffing over the fact it surprised me and can almost hear you saying it's typical Branning's ay? But she said you were good. And, I'm... Just glad you are doing good yeah."**

**"Oh and it's Joey by the way. Al said you might not even have my number anymore. So yeah. It's me. Call me back if you want. Or not. I don't know. Just yeah. Bye."**

And again.

**"I dunno if you are even listening to this, but just, Abi told me about Kirsty. What a mess ay? I can see you scoffing over the fact it surprised me and can almost hear you saying it's typical Branning's ay? But she said you were good. And, I'm... Just glad you are doing good yeah."**

**"Oh and it's Joey by the way. Al said you might not even have my number anymore. So yeah. It's me. Call me back if you want. Or not. I don't know. Just yeah. Bye."**

She sighed, but before she could click to play again, her phone got taken out of her hands.

"Right. I've had enough." Lauren rolled her eyes, and held her hand out. No tremors, withdrawal having lessened, slowly she was starting to feel human again. Strange what a week away can do.

Her phone got placed back in her hands begrudging, "3 choices Lauren." Leaning back on the sofa, Lauren pulled her legs up to her chest, a defensive move she was aware but kinda didn't care.

"Either delete him. Delete his number, block it, mentally delete him from your head." Lauren scoffed, it was nowhere near as simple as made out.

"But I don't think you want to do that." She shrugged.

"So down to two options kid."

Lauren hated the fact she'd managed to grab her attention, but asked anyway. "And what are they oh wise one?"

Sarcasm was her trademark, and with her being sober and getting more like her old self every day, she was using it more.

The only time she didn't was in her treatment sessions themselves. She made a promise to herself that in there, for that period every day, she'd be honest. The truth hurts, but she's been hurting herself anyway. Maybe it was time to try something new.

"Either text him and tell him you need space." Lauren rolled her eyes, she was in Exeter, he in London. They were far enough apart, thanks.

"Or call him back. Start that connection. Move on or forward. Whatever.."

Lauren mumbled into her legs.

"Speak up. Nothing you say here is wrong remember. You feel the way you feel about whatever, and you are entitled to that Lauren."

Lauren nodded, but sighed. "What would you do?" It was rare for Lauren to ask for advice or opinions, and she could tell that.

"If I were you or as me advising you?" Lauren shrugged. She sighed in response to Lauren's shrug, sometimes this girl was challenging in the simple stuff.

"I'll make it easy for you" This got Lauren's full attention, her head even came up from where she'd been resting it on her knees.

"What would you end up regretting more; you calling him and taking that chance or you not calling him and wondering what he said to say..."

Silence. Even after a few moments, there was no response from the brunette, who sat looking lost in her thoughts.

"I'll leave it with you." A small nod.

"Either way Lauren, the choice is yours. It's your life to take control of." Another nod.

"Lights out in half an hour kiddo." Another nod, this time with a small smile. "Kay. And thanks."

* * *

27 minutes later, right before midnight, she made her decision. It being a Friday meant she had no chance of getting a response which could make her change her mind.

_"_**Hey this is Joey Branning. Obviously I'm busy right now, so leave a message & I might get back to ya."**

She froze at hearing his voice before shaking herself lightly. She was acting like an idiot. Speak. _"Hey. It's me. Lauren."_ She paused. _"So..."_ Another pause._ "I got your messages."_ Obviously Lauren. God, try and sound less like an idiot. There was just So much she could say, but just no words to speak.

_"And yeah I'm doing"_ How to describe her first week of treatment, nothing from her past was being left. Every secret being talked about, every emotion analysed. _"Good I guess. Sober anyway._" She didn't know what to say and hated it. _"You wanted me to call. So yeah I have. Bye." _She hung up, and put her phone on her side before throwing herself dramatically back on her bed. Urgh.

Actually she sat up suddenly, and grabbed her phone to turn it off. She wished she could do the same to her heart and her head.


	3. Chapter 3

Checking his phone to see a text from Alice reminding him to grab his wages tonight because the rent was due, and deleting a text from Lucy without even reading it, not in the mood to go to hers tonight, he was surprised to see a voicemail notification.

Locking up the club, he pressed the phone to his ear, freezing slightly when he heard her voice.

_"Hey. It's me. Lauren."_ She paused, and he sighed at just hearing her voice. _"So..."_ Another pause._"I got your messages."_ She paused and he was mentally willing her to talk to him. To fill him in, to answer all these unasked questions that filled his head.

_"And yeah I'm doing"_ She paused, and he held his breath. _"Good I guess. Sober anyway_." She paused, and he realised how difficult that must be for her to say. Sober is good, just not for someone that craves alcohol._ "You wanted me to call. So yeah I have. Bye."__._

He was relieved and disappointed at the same time, a bittersweet feeling. Beyond relieved to have heard her voice, to hear directly from her she was doing okay. He never thought he'd miss her, as even after the break-up she was still around. He still saw her about, she was mentioned a lot, but now with her actually gone and people not wanting to bring her up, he missed her. More than he thought possible.

He'd lost her, he guessed there had been hope somewhere subconsciously in him that even after he ended it with her, that she'd pull things together, get her life sorted and then... Well, doesn't matter now with her gone does it.

The disappointment lingered though. As much as he wanted to shake it off, he should be happy she called at all, he knows that. But he wanted more. It's gotten to a point they don't even act themselves around each other, like they can't hold a proper conversation.

It's weird. Like they were never friends, there was always an underlying current between them, probably always would be. And obviously they never had that cousin bond, so now they are left, having taken the relationship they had away, with nothing.

Just a bunch of complicated emotions, towards a person you both know so well and not at all at the same time, and no relationship or connection at all.

* * *

Laying in his bed, having tossed and turned for the past 2 hours, he turned to look at his alarm clock; seeing it read 4:23AM he groaned. The realisation that he wouldn't get any sleep unless he did it made him sit up and reach for his phone.

Pulling up her contact, yawning as he did, a smirk appearing when he saw his contact image for her; a photo he'd taken of her curled up in his bed, he pressed call.

No answer to which he expected, one because just because she returned his call doesn't mean she'll be willing to talk to him and two it was stupid o'clock in the morning.

He left her a voicemail anyway, tiredness and relief from hearing from her making him more open than he usually would have been.

**"Hey. It's me. Again. Thanks for calling back, I mean I didn't think you would so... It was good to hear from you. I'm just"** he ran his hand down his face and sighed. **"happy you're doing better yeah? Like it all I want. You to be better and happy and that."**

He had so much he wanted to say to her, especially now not she was actually getting his messages, but didn't have the words. **"Just call me whenever yeah babe."**


	4. Chapter 4

**"Hey. It's me. Again. Thanks for calling back, I mean I didn't think you would so... It was good to hear from you. I'm just happy you're doing better yeah? Like it all I want. You to be better and happy and that. Just call me whenever yeah babe."**

* * *

"Lauren?" The brunette raised her head towards her bedroom door at the clinic she was staying at, in direction of the voice that called her name.

"Heard you wanted to chat?" She just nodded in response.

It was late afternoon, and she'd gone through her usual routine. Up early, no more lazing about, she was getting more and more energy the more her body was getting used to no alcohol. Breakfast, followed by a run. Yeah Lauren Branning was exercising, shock horror.

Then a group session, which she enjoyed. She found it uncomfortable talking openly about how bad things had gotten, but oddly comfortable being surrounded by people that didn't judge her by her mistakes, or even her family's past.

Then lunch, followed by individual counselling which she hated. Worst part of her day, which is why the next thing scheduled was art hour. Suffer through the worst bit – the talking, the looking back at everything, the questioning, to enjoy the best bit – time outside sketching or doing whatever she wanted.

And now it was down time, nothing was scheduled which is usually when Lauren's head filled with questions and thoughts she couldn't shake.

"Y'know I returned his call?" Lauren finally spoke, with no need to explain who he was. He was one of the very few things Lauren refused to talk about in her sessions, he was one of the only things that had ever been hers. His love for her, unexplainable and strong, until she tainted it with her problems.

She refused to let them analyse him, and them. No. She'd discuss everything else, even how torn she felt about her Dad; being the person she loved most and hated most at the same time, how she struggled to trust him but wanted to, even discussed everyone's reactions to she and Joey, even talked a bit about her Mum's cancer and Bradley's death, but not Joey and how she felt.

A nod was the simple response Lauren got though, until she realised Lauren wasn't planning on talking more, having obviously decided not to share anymore, she spoke.

"And you got his voice mail?" she added, prompting Lauren to speak more.

She nodded as she spoke "Yeah. Well." She tipped her phone in her hands, slightly towards the other person in the room. "He called me back."

"And?" No response.

"Lauren, I'm not your family remember. I can handle hearing the truth, no matter whether you think you should stay quiet or not." Still silence.

"If I ask you something, it's usually because I want your answer, or your opinion."

Lauren tipped her head, moving her hair to shield her face. "I know. You've said."

"So..." Lauren wasn't sure what to say. She'd been gone over two weeks now, had been sober for three weeks, and it had been three days since Joey called her back. She'd been expecting more voicemails, had been a bit disappointed that he stopped, but it was her sister that made her realise something. It was her turn, he was waiting for her. And now she didn't know what to do.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note - I've been such an epic fail at updating, and for that I'm so sorry. Life is just, well if you follow me on twitter, you'll know. I'll get better at it, promise. This is a quick Joey chapter, set Monday 15th aka the day he split up with Lucy. Waheyyy.**

* * *

Joey rolled his eyes as he arrived at work to find it empty even though Janine was supposed to be in this morning. He quickly opened up the store room so the delivery guy could start bringing things in. He really should be helping, but Ian's words were running through his head.

Had she got the wrong end of the stick? Like she's known all along the way he feels, she ain't Lauren, she'll never be. They are just mates right, having a bit of fun? He didn't want to hurt her, but if she was hoping on him feeling the same, it was just never going to happen.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, if this was Alice nagging him about the washing up again, he would seriously chuck it against a wall. He'd do it when he had a chance.

Voicemail icon and a text message box flashed across the top of his phone. His breath caught in his throat, the hope it was her. He managed to shake it off long enough to sign off on the paperwork the guy needed, before he flopped into a chair in the office.

He clicked open the text first.

Abi. "I'm sorry for being off. Lauren's said I can talk to you. She's doing really well Joey " Joey smiled at the text. He hadn't blame her at all, for not being the most forthcoming in information when he spoke to her. She probably blamed him, and he could hardly fault her for that could he? He did raise an eyebrow though, they'd obviously discussed him and he doubted he just randomly came up on conversation.

He's never been that interested in girly conversations; he used to tune Lauren and Alice out all the time when she stayed at his, and did the same now whenever Al brought Poppy around; but for the first time he wondered what they said about him.

He called his voicemail accounting, holding his breath when the operator read out a familiar name to him before the message started.

He listened to her voice, his heart tightening. He replayed it, having not caught everything, too lost in hearing her voice to listen.

_"Voicemail again."_ Was it him being hopeful or did she sound disappointed. _"Maybe a good thing though? Maybe we'll be more honest that way who knows."_ She mumbled that bit, but he agreed with her._ "I didn't know whether to call"_ She paused, and he willed her to carry on. He missed her, more than he thought possible. Him Joey Branning, missing a girl. _"But"_ her sigh echo'd in his ears.

_"I think I'd regret it if I didn't._" His heart tightened. _"And Joe I don't have any regrets about you."_ He breathed out in relief, he started to thinking recently after the way it all happened and the way her family acted towards him, that he should have seen it coming and that it was his fault.

It was only with her gone, he was hearing all these things about her; about her parents, about Bradley and Billie; that he realised how messed up things were for her. He'd once said to her that he didn't make her as happy as she thought he did, but that's because he didn't know just what she was fighting against to be happy.

If he brought her any happiness, he was glad. He hates the idea he made it all worse for her. So hearing her say she doesn't regret him, regret them, lifted a weight from his heart he didn't even realise was there.

_"Well the end wasn't great but..."_ her voice trailed out. _"Can't dwell on that can we? Onwards and upwards as I've been told"_ he chuckled at the sarcasm in her voice. _"Far too many times, I've heard that."_ He heard someone mumble in the background, something about saying it until it sunk in, her ssh'ing them, her next comment made him uncomfortable. "You're super annoying you know that? You're supposed to be my moral support whilst I call him." She muttered.

_"Anyways"_ she was back, her tone light and breezy. And oh so fake, her tone a tone he heard her use a lot towards her parents.

_"I hope everything's good with you. But it's Walford so there'll always be some drama right?"_ He laughed. _"Abs doesn't give me no gossip, maybe if you wanna keep calling, you could?"_ Her tone sounded hopeful, but he froze. Abi wasn't telling her the day-to-day dealings in the Square, she had no idea he'd been messing around with Lucy. Maybe there was still a chance.

_"Only call me back if you want to Joe, no pity or out of sympathy yeah?"_


End file.
